


to have and to hold

by sxndazed



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Fluff, Introspection, POV Hinata Shouyou, they're lesbians and in love!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxndazed/pseuds/sxndazed
Summary: There's something about the way that Atsumu looks at Shouyou that has her heart hammering in her chest.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	to have and to hold

There's something about the way that Atsumu looks at Shouyou that has her heart hammering in her chest.

Atsumu carries this genuine enthusiasm for life around at all times. Shouyou noticed this when they became friends and even more so when they started dating. Her eyes light up from simple pleasures to grand things. She savours good food with a gusto that's rivaled only by Osamu and treats her progress in all things with the utmost care. Her seemingly effortless care and joy makes it easy for Shouyou to fall in love with her and for her to get drawn into the enthusiasm and joy that Atsumu exudes.

So it's natural when that enthusiasm and joy extends to their relationship. Atsumu is eager to spend time with Shouyou, to learn her past, present, and future—she wants to know what shaped Shouyou, excited to hear about growing up as a big sister and what it was like to start all over in a country across the ocean. She prides herself in knowing Shouyou's present, knowing who she's grown to be and what she strives for each and every day. And because Atsumu's greedy, greedy to soak in everything she could possibly learn because what is love if not to devote your all and receive the same in return, she asks about Shouyou's future—her desires, her plans, and her ideas.

And so Atsumu listens.

She takes in every little detail, and the excitement and pride she shows when she says, "Yer amazing, Shouyou-kun," throws Shouyou for a loop. When Shouyou gets a little too lost in what she's saying and her hands are gesticulating as she plows through, she bites her lip and stops because she knows she can be too much sometimes. But when she looks over at Atsumu, sweet and wonderful Atsumu, she only has a gleam in her eyes and a fondness that threatens to knock Shouyou off of her feet as she gestures for her to keep going.

Atsumu looks at her, listens to every anecdote and thought (no matter how silly), and all Shouyou can think about is that this is what it's like to be seen and loved.

That's not to say that Shouyou doesn't reciprocate. No—she gives their relationship her all and more.

She knows she's a little intense and self-absorbed to a fault, but she's dedicated to her life and what she wants. And part of what she wants is Atsumu.

The dedication and eagerness Atsumu displays is what draws Shouyou's attention in the first place and holds it long after. Everything Atsumu does practically screams  _ look at me _ and asks  _ I can and will give my all—will you? _ And if Shouyou's known for anything, it's that she'll never stray away from a challenge.

But it's not so much a challenge as it is a declaration.

Atsumu is clear in her intentions and boundaries, and when she confesses to Shouyou—cheeks flushed and words whispered into a brisk autumn night—Shouyou knows that this could be it.

"I like you. A lot. Like a ridiculous amount and I dunno how I could ever like ya less, and it's honestly a little scary-"

Shouyou tugs her sleeve. "Atsumu-san."

"Sorry," she mumbles, "I'm ramblin' again."

"That's okay. I like hearing you talk."

Atsumu gets this shy look and her face, and  _ oh _ Shouyou has it bad.

She grabs Atsumu's hand and laces their fingers together. Her thumb soothes her knuckles as she waits for Atsumu to continue. Shouyou stops when she looks up to see Atsumu looking right back, eyes lit with determination.

"I like you, Shou-kun. I'm hopin' that you still bein' here means ya might like me back or that ya could, eventually."

Shouyou squeezes her hand as a silent  _ I do _ , and the way that Atsumu's shoulders relax just the slightest bit makes her think that she knows.

"I want you. I wanna do all that sappy shit ya see in movies and call ya whenever I want because I like hearin' ya talk too.

"I want ya to be one of the first people I tell stuff to, and I want to do things like gettin' dressed up for dates and takin' photos to make my phone wallpaper.

"I want to be with ya, if ya'll have me."

Her face is so red that Shouyou almost wants to laugh, but she doesn't—she's not a total ass—because Atsumu's eyes are clear and determined and  _ gorgeous. _

So when Shouyou lets go of her hand to tug Atsumu down by her jacket to kiss her, and when she pulls away to whisper, "I'll have you," into the space between them, and when she sees the radiant smile that takes over Atsumu's face, she knows that she's in deep.

And it's proven every day after that moment.

It's clear when they go on a run the morning after, Atsumu's face flushed and bright, and have a breakfast date that bleeds into the afternoon before they part ways.

It's clear when they both show up to a date with flowers in hand, when Atsumu laughs before taking the bouquet—one of red and yellow tulips—from Shouyou's hands and fails to hide the sheer happiness she exudes from this moment alone.

It's clear on the day Shouyou hands Atsumu a key that's been sitting in the bedside drawer, for two months because she thought it was too soon and ends up wondering why she didn’t do this sooner because when Atsumu uses it for the first time to come over in the evening, it suddenly feels more like home.

It's clear today, when Atsumu has her head in Shouyou's lap, and the way she's looking up at her with pride and affection devastates her.

Atsumu looks at Shouyou, and all she can think about is how she's seen and heard and understood and loved. She only hopes that she can convey the same.

One hand brushes through the short length of Atsumu's hair, and the other reaches for Atsumu's to hold. Shouyou brings their hands to her lips and gently presses a kiss to the back of Atsumu's hand as she hums. She places them against her chest, and it  _ aches _ from how much Shouyou wants her.

_ You have me, _ she thinks.

And when her eyes meet Atsumu's, it's like she answers back,  _ I know. _

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! I hope you've been well! This fic is really just me rambling about love and what it feels like when you find it but in the form of atsuhina (as lesbians too). Here's to hoping I can write something with a plot this year, but thank you for clicking on this and joining me on this journey as I continue to navigate writing <3


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